


To my dearest Mar

by KaisonSnow (TyStark13)



Series: Poetry [3]
Category: Original Work, Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Best Friends, Dedicatory, Destiny, Fate & Destiny, Finished On: October 12th 2015, Friendship, Gen, K.S., Originally Posted on Tumblr, Poetry, gratitude, spilled ink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-29 14:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5131880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyStark13/pseuds/KaisonSnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You deserve all the best in the world."</p>
            </blockquote>





	To my dearest Mar

**Author's Note:**

> This poem is dedicated to Mar. Many things, many people come and go, but she was the one who never left. She's the best friend you could ever have.
> 
> Read this on Tumblr: [To my dearest Mar](http://kaisonsnow.tumblr.com/post/131048609969)

“

Thank you, my friend.

 

I’m sorry too, my friend.

 

I thank you for  
everything you’ve done  
(and still do)  
for me.

 

I thank you for  
all the times  
I needed a helping hand,  
you never let me fall.

 

I thank you for  
all of the times  
you said the truth,  
even if I didn’t wanna hear it,  
but you knew  
it was the best  
for me.

 

I thank you for  
all the times  
you forgot your problems  
for a while, so you could  
listen to me  
vent my own.

 

I thank you for  
reassuring me constantly  
of things that you,  
yourself,  
are insecure about.

 

I am sorry for,  
at a certain point  
in time,  
thinking I claimed ownership  
to you,  
and you couldn’t have  
any more friends.

 

I’m sorry for  
being jealous  
of you,  
when all I could be  
was bitter  
towards the world.

 

(The green-coloured,  
viscous fluid of jealousy  
flowed in the place of blood.

 

It burned when it reached  
my heart.

 

The shame clouds my sight  
as I write this down.)

 

I’m sorry for  
the times I was  
cold and distant

 

((

 

Oh, so cold.  
Pluto’s cold, frozen heart  
couldn’t compare to  
my own.

 

))

 

and ended up  
hurting you  
when it wasn’t even  
your fault  
in first place.

 

I am sorry for  
my self-destructive behaviour,  
that ended up  
affecting our friendship.

 

((

 

I couldn’t see it was  
a two-edged sword.

 

I’d hurt myself and us.

 

))

 

I’m sorry for  
not seeing our  
damaged friendship,  
for not doing anything  
to try and fix it,

 

while I was blinded  
by my own  
pain.

 

I am sorry for  
being contactless  
for the longest time.

 

For not realizing that,  
even the person who  
helps everyone,  
needs to be helped too,  
sometimes.

 

The regret cuts deep  
when I think about  
all the  
unnecessary hurt  
that happened between  
us.

 

Still, like they say:  
“What doesn’t kill you  
makes you stronger.”

 

So, now our friendship  
is stronger than ever.

 

I thank you for  
forgiving me.  
(I still haven’t forgiven myself.)

 

Thank you for  
not giving up on me,  
for guiding me,  
even when you were  
getting fed up  
of me  
to the limit.

 

(What a Holy patience  
you must have  
to put up  
with me,  
when I can’t even  
handle myself.)

 

If you were someone else,  
we wouldn’t even be  
on speaking terms.

 

But you’re not  
someone else,  
you’re you.

 

You’re unique  
and beautiful  
and free  
and independent  
and shiny.  
And powerful.

 

Your potential  
sees no boundaries.

 

((

 

Heaven and Hell,  
as you must know,  
are in constant wars.

 

Yet, all their members,  
from both sides,  
agreed unanimously on  
one thing:

 

You put flawless  
to shame.

 

))

 

I’d say  
you’re too good to be true  
if I hadn’t met you.  
Now I realize  
you’re a Heavenly gift.

 

(Oh, how dishonorable of me  
to even think of causing pain  
to someone  
of a celestial origin.)

 

But the past can’t be changed.

 

The weight I carry  
is knowing  
I have to live with that.

 

My relief  
is knowing  
I didn’t lose you  
after my countless mistakes.

 

I say that Destiny  
has a wicked way  
of making things work.

 

If it was Destiny  
who decided to send you  
to me,  
then I could  
thank It endlessly.

 

((

 

However, it would never  
be enough.

 

There is no  
amount of words,  
able to describe,

 

there are no  
earthly units  
capable of measuring  
or quantifying,

 

the gratitude I feel  
for being able to call you  
my friend.

 

))

 

(Boys and crushes.

 

If I had to choose  
between them and you,  
rest assured:  
I’d choose you in a heartbeat.

 

Boys and crushes come and go.  
True friends are forever.)

 

So, in behalf of my emotions  
coming out  
as unclear or  
with mixed signs,

 

(Emotions were never  
really my thing.  
I always seem to lack the ability to  
physically express myself adequately.)

 

I give you this gift.

 

Because after an endless search  
in the depths of my soul,  
there’s one thing I found peace in:  
art in form of words.

 

I found out  
this is the best way  
I can express

 

with no confusion  
or shyness  
or awkwardness,

 

(I guess emotions are really  
my Achilles’ heel.)

 

how much I treasure you,  
how much I hope  
we never part definitely.

 

**Because a life without**  
**the glow**  
**and wisdom**

 

((

 

And I swear right now,  
God is my one and only witness,  
of the tear that spills  
from the corner of my eye,  
when I remember your smile.

 

It can be seen from 1000 light-years away.

 

))

 

**you bless our friendship with,**  
**is an empty,**  
**undesired life.**

 

So, sweetheart,  
if you ever doubt  
how I feel for you,  
read this.

 

(This is honesty  
in its raw, bare form.)

 

Again and again.  
As many times as you need.

 

(This was born from  
a rare flash of courage I had.  
I held onto it for dear life.

 

I had plain conscience:  
It was now or never.  
I didn’t rest until this  
was all written down. )

 

When I die,  
this will be the only  
physical evidence of the long,  
glorious years  
we spent as friends.

 

Before the last spark of courage  
extinguishes,  
I leave you with  
the faithful promise  
that I’ll do everything in my reach  
to not debilitate the strength of our connection,  
ever again.

 

If by occurrences that are  
beyond my reach,  
anything affects us again,  
I faithfully promise you  
I’ll rebuild everything from scratch.

 

Brick by brick,  
step by step,  
word by word.

 

**Because friendships worth having,**  
**are friendships worth fighting for.**

 

”

— **You deserve all the best in the world** | K.S.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is more than welcome. :)


End file.
